Few days ago, I wrote about the delusion of relationships and the logical impossibility of love-on-first-site. However, my claims beg the question: what gets things started in the first place? After all, you don’t know the ‘inside’ of a person on first sighting, or can you instantly figure if this is someone you will be liking or not–let me think deep about this…
While writing the first part of this post, I kept thinking if is is possible in the world we live in today, for a guy and a girl (assuming they are heterosexuals), to want to discover themselves without resorting to the sexualities. Reading the last statement, the quick response that might come to mind is, “you’ve got to be gay!” This is what our society has come to, sex. It’s all about sex, you are an object and it’s all about sex.
I‘ve attempted to understand the “getting” obsession. Not just sex-wise. We only get to help people we hope will help us sometime, we give to those we hope will give us back at some point, wait…I digressed. Wait, you may say, none of these answers the question I posed originally–when is the line drawn between thinking one likes, and truly liking?
Like the philosopher René Descartes who doubted all he knows to truly understand what he doesn’t know; I’m thinking it’s probably time for some re-learning; to forget [doubt] all we know about relationships. Forget ‘Sex and the City’, forget ‘People’ magazine, forget your mom’s tips on ‘attracting cool guys’, or your dad’s tips on ‘landing that chic’, whatever is that block we have erected in our head, forget them all!
Now they are forgotten. I’m thinking we can now start examining all we know about loving. What does a relationship truly mean to you? Can you handle one? Who are you? What do you truly want, in yourself and others?
As my friend and I continued the discussion (catch up here), I told her, we lie to ourselves a lot. And it’s hard to be honest as hard as we try. I continued, we can claim to ask ourselves important questions every now and then but, are the answers honest?
I have lied to myself and as i write this post, I’m struggling (maybe like you) to start giving myself honest answers and involving in meaningful relationships.