My friend recently wondered why I would think it’s impossible to [truly] like someone on first encounter. She explained to me that sometimes you’d see that guy and be like, “wow, he’s cute, I like him”. Or, for the guy, he sees that girl and likes her. I understood her point(s) and as I mentioned yesterday, this form of liking is often delusional.
Richard Dawkins made an interesting analogy explaining delusion, he explained: if a person wants to play basketball like Michael Jordan, they could from a young age start training real hard, these person is being realistic, s/he might one day play like or better Michael Jordan. On the other hand, if a person decides that wearing the same pair of sneakers that Jordan wears will make them a basketball superstar, the person is being delusional. And as I see it, this is how many of us get to like people.
We see that person we think we like and start getting to know them, sooner or later we figure, we never really like them after all; we where just lusting in the first place. We might not want to believe it but truly liking someone takes moments of ups and downs, and of discovering, and of let down and putting ups–these all take time, time many of us would care less to spend.
Maybe we should blame the fast society [culture] we are in. We want fast food, high speed internet, 3G (4G) network, sleek and fast phones, video chats–we want everything right now! And this has trained us to think, we can either like that person now or never.
Or maybe we can blame the media. They tell us how imperfect we are, or how our perfect partner should be; they ‘recommend’ solutions to fix us and he dutifully fall into the trap and set delusional mental blocks.
Maybe it is our peers, family or friends. That close friend has a guy, or a girl; they pressure us into thinking we need one too and we dutifully yield to conformity, thinking every one we come across is a potential ‘partner’.